The first of the month came, and I was prepared to take on life without cigarettes. I began the new life getting ready to head to Milwaukee for a conference for the week. I got through Tuesday pretty easily – I made sure that I kept myself busy. I constantly had the next task in mind for what I finished the current one. That day shall go down in history as the first day since I started smoking that I went the entire day without a cigarette.
Unfortunately, 2 November was not the second day that I went the entire day. I hit one of my roadblocks, and I hit it real hard. Wednesday was the night of happy hours and open houses, which meant that there was alcohol… in abundance. When you find yourself drinking at a bar, you know that you’re going to run into some smokers. And I did. I fell off the wagon and had two cigarettes that night. I got back on for Thursday, and I thought that I was in the clear.
I came home on Friday afternoon, and after a large lunch, I made a beeline for my nightstand drawer that hid the last pack that I bought. I smoked one, and sadly/gladly, didn’t get much out of it. I then proceeded to weigh myself [I did a LOT of eating in MKE], cried a little, and packed my bag for the gym. After a shitty workout that didn’t feel great, I proceeded to smoke another cigarette. Now, before you all freak out, I did something that I’ve never done in previous times when trying to quit. I threw away the pack, which had more than half of the cigarettes remaining. See? That’s progress.
I got through the weekend without too many issues – a minor panic attack here and there, but nothing major. I survived the stress of the video card blowing up on my laptop and the subsequent mob of people at the Apple store. I survived the weigh-in and subsequent workout [it went better this time]. I survived sitting at the reference desk for three and a half hours with no questions and the subsequent ‘I just need one source’ question at ten minutes until closing. That’s right, I survived.
So I’ve managed to go two full days without a cigarette [for the record, I haven’t done that in a while]. However, I fully realize that I’m not out of this – I knew that it wouldn’t be a cake walk. You know what’s been awesome? The support, both words of encouragement and the donations to KMF, has really made the difference. No lie – the fact that I’ve raised over $600 on this little cause of mine has given me more strength that I could receive from the patch or gum.
While I now call myself a non-smoker, I could still use your help. I’ve got a little bit more money to raise, and I’d love your assistance in reaching my goals. Thanks in advance.